just last week

He is naked next to me under the sheets, rubbing my side. It feels strange. We broke up a few days ago and haven’t touched each other for a week.

Just last week we were abusing each other in a drunken quarrel.

My skin is tingling under his fingertips. Part of me is beaming with excitement; another part is frozen with nerves. I don’t want to react too eagerly. So I peck him on the cheek. This is not an accurate reflection of how I am feeling or what I really want to do to him, but that's what I do and it is lame. It doesn’t matter because he pulls me closer. He is gentle but firm. Our mouths meet and our tongues start to play like a pair graceful fish dancers. His lips are like a like a moist plum. Part of me wants to cry, and another part of me wants to stop and tell him how amazing this is. Both actions would kill the moment, so I stay with it as much as I can. But I feel like I am on the edge about to slip out of it; On the very edge and it doesn’t quite feel real.

His fingers dance around my stomach, down around my hips and lightly snap the elastic of my panties around my left buttock. Is he daring me to take them off? Not yet. I want this moment linger a little longer.

Just last week we were sleeping on opposite sides of the van; cold and distant.
“I am through with you” he had said after days of not talking to me.

He touches the inside of my undies, then pulls away. He pushes his fingers through another opening, then pulls away. I bite my lip as I am lost in his kiss. I can't take it any more. I pull off my undies and with one leg still in the air, he holds it their. He hooks his leg in so we are linked and sliding back and forth like a pair of scissors.

We start to move together rhythmically. We start moving a little off beat. All of it is adding to the excitement that is building up inside of me. I start to turn my body so that my back is to him. In slow motion I move to my stomach and he is wrapped around me like a python, somehow remaining balanced. The movement gets stronger then becomes slower and soft.

“Is there any chance you will change your mind” I had asked him just last week.
“No” he had said, “you are too destructive.”

But tonight he is whispering in my ear.
“Do you want me to come?”
“Yes” I say.
“Are you going to come?”
“Yes” I say.

Just last week I thought it was over.

As our breaths return to normal we are twisted in each others clutches. We are kissing the mouth, the face, the neck, the chest, the stomach as we fall asleep.